Halloween Countdown #31: The End

And so, we finally come to the end of our first ever month-long Halloween Countdown. I’ve resorted filler throughout, started a new series that I’ve already skipped my unwritten mandate of posting once a week, and stretched my own personal definition of what constitutes  as “fitting” for a Halloween-themed countdown. As I have nothing else for you people, I’m going to give you my thoughts on Halloween as a holiday.

Alright, confession time: Halloween is not really my favorite holiday. I like it quite a bit, as any holiday where I can dress as a superhero or Mario is alright in my book. But as for something I look forward to every year. It comes, it’s fun while it here, and then leaves until next year, like that cousin you only ever see at Christmas or major family functions.

So why did I do this countdown? Two reasons:

  1. It’s another step in my quest to completely rip-off Armagideon Time
  2. I wanted to see if I could do it.

I haven’t post regularly for a month since 2012 on my old blog, and given that the Obsessive Geek Blog already was getting into the stop-start groove I had back when I was on Blogger, I decided to do something in order to keep myself focused on at least one thing in my life. I can get easily distracted or obsessed with one thing (hence a third of this blog’s title), so I figured I could get into the spooky spirit of the season and keep myself on a loose schedule.

And I have to say, if I’m being honest, I don’t actually think I did my best. This was all pretty obviously a catch-as-catch can thing for me, and I resorted to needless filler way more times than I seriously ever wanted to.

But it wasn’t all bad and simple posting of pictures. I did start-up a new series (which I will have a new entry for this week, I promise) and even went on to be a bit more honest about my process, such as it is.

But through it all, I wanted to keep you guys, the people following this thing on WordPress or Twitter or whatever, at least slightly entertained by my rambling jerrimiads and cheap jokes. And If I did that, well, at least I did something right with this thing.

So that about covers it for the Obsessive Geek Blog’s first Halloween countdown. I’ve got to work tonight and I’ll probably have something up tomorrow for…whatever the hell I can think of, I guess. Thank you all for following and Happy Halloween.

 

 

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Halloween Countdown #30: Fangin’ and Bangin’

The Milwaukee Comic Con isn’t really a con in the traditional sense. It’s essentially a large flee market, held at the American Serb Hall, a banquet hall/bowling alley on Oklahoma Ave. in Milwaukee. There you’ll find near every geeky thing you can think of: prints, metal prints, local artist’s comics, buttons, key chains, old toys. new toys or slight jacked up prices, and of course, back issues. Ya don’t get many of the “10 bucks per autograph” set, until this year…

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The picture above is of Gangrel, former WWE superstar and current porn director. I saw this guy along with Kevin Thorn. It was more surprising than anything else; neither man was a huge name, but I figured that Milwaukee Comic Con wouldn’t even get guys like that. I flirted with getting an autograph from the pal of Edge and Christian, but I couldn’t justify the purchase. But man, the guy still has a great look.

 

Halloween Countdown #29: The Kawaii of Chucky

Quick question: is there some sort of need to turn every single thing we come across into it’s feminine counterpart? I understand it with superheroes, various fantasy properties and whatever else is out there, but why are we do it with horror movie slashers? As of right now, we have rule 63’d a mutant/zombie spree killer and a child murderer-turned boogeyman

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…and now we’re getting what appears to be the teenage girl version of a killer doll.

I’m not judging or anything, I just sincerely want to know why this keeps happening. Are there just a market for 80’s slasher killers to be turned into cute/sexy anime women?

I would preferably like this answer before we get a Bishoujo Leatherface.

 

Halloween Countdown #28: Return to Smallville

I either bought or asked my parents for the fifth season box set  of Smallville in 2006. This was mostly because of the 100th episode and Lexmas (yes, Smallville’s fetish for one word episode titles was so great that the resorted to making portmanteau words for their Christmas episodes), but I get the general feeling that sixteen year old me felt that this was the best season the show had before inevitable downturn in quality. And while revisiting the series for this countdown had brought up an old shame, it also made me remember something.

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Lionel, there are safer ways to get in shape.

This was the season the show tried to become Saw for an episode.

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Ya know, if you want you’re villain to  a threat, you probably shouldn’t give him a mask made of tinfoil.

“Mercy”, as the episode’s called, revolves around Lionel Luthor, Lex’s dad and manipulative bastard extraordinaire who was reforming starting this season. He’s menaced by Tinfoil Face, a random dude who got screwed over by a failed takeover of LuthorCorp Lionel orchestrated in order to get the company away from Lex. Lionel goes through some network TV approved death traps, Martha (who’s become a senator…don’t ask) get kidnapped too and Clark saves the day just in the nick of time.

While I can’t say that this episode (or the series as a whole, to be honest) is anything to write home about, I can say that it’s entertaining in a way that “Thirst”, isn’t; it’s a an attempt at aping horror movies that I can actually watch and not feel an enormous amount of shame. Even the villain, silly as he looks, is entertaining, in a “drunk college freshman just discovered radical political activism” sort of way.

 

Halloween Countdown #27: Sympathy for The Devil

Sometimes you sit back, wondering what the hell you’re going to do for a post one day. You’ve spent the time either procrastinating or asleep, and you consider just jettisoning the day altogether since you have work soon and you don’t get off until 10:oo pm. Then, you stumble upon a webcomic about Jack Chick….

 

Damn! That’s harsh, dude.

…and it all comes together.

 

Look, I have no sympathy for the opinions of Jack Chick or any of his fearmongering ilk. But going so far as to wish ol’ Chicky poo to the fires of hell just feels a bit on the incredibly harsh side. Though, judging from  the description at the bottom of the picture, the author has some serious bad history with the kind of fundamentalist mania the Chicks, Phelps’ and many others fanned the flames of. Whatever helps you deal, I guess.

 

Halloween Countdown #26: One Writer’s Fear

There are a lot of things that haunt then minds of anyone with artistic hopes or pretensions. The fears that lie in the backs of their minds and speak to them like taunting specters while they are alone at a keyboard or easel or whatever object or medium they see fit to get their ideas across. You’ve most likely heard them yourself, speaking in your own voice and chanting their irritating, emotionally biting hymns; “This is some bulls#!@”, “Nobody’s gonna like this”, That’s stupid and you’re stupid for making it”.

 

These are the harsh tones of self doubt, the arias of fear and possibly even loathing. Their lyrics are modified from person to person, but their bitter intent is the same: to scare you. To offer some helpful self criticism for your truly bad ideas or to make you truly paranoid about the ones that might even be good; this is their purpose.

 

You’re indulging in overwriting, you hack.”

 

There are other thing, worse things that come from the realities of life to be afraid of, but I feel safe in assuming that a good portion of you, dear readers, have felt that doubt creeping up on you, dragging you to those dark, suffocating depths that make you wonder why you even try and leave many a project, good, bad and ugly, down in that black abyss where none save you remember their existence.

 

Get to the point already, you jerk.”

 

I fear unoriginality. Not in others works, of course; I fear being unoriginal in my own work, on this blog, sometimes paralyzed by wondering when the day will come when I will piss someone I actually respect off by my blatant “borrowing”. I feel this lump deep inside my throat as I write this, wondering how I could make this post better; make it sing and wax lyrical about these fears of mine, give it a style unique to me, myself and I. I ponder how I can go into detail without talking about people who are probably getting annoyed with me namedropping them; my naked fanboyism can only take me so far. And worst of all, I wonder if this is where I belong, some unoriginal hack on the internet, ranting and raving and throwing messages in bottles while most everyone else looks up Buzzfeed or porn. This fear, I think, will not pass easily.

 

This wrote all of this because you couldn’t figure out something for this week’s Fix It ‘Til It’s Broke!, didn’t you?”

 

Well, yeah, but the readers don’t have to know that, you @$$hole.

Halloween Countdown #25: Fanboy Wonder

I was gonna save this for the last day of the Halloween Countdown, but I’m stuck for  what to post today. As such, let me give  you a photo from nearly two decades ago.

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That’s yours truly as Robin on the right and my father as Lou Farrakhan Alfred. I posted this picture last year as well, during my old blog’s Halloween week countdown. While I am posting this as a bit of easy filler, I do have another reason.

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had a love for Robin. Mostly because when I was a young ‘un I could self project my as the sidekick of the greatest superhero ever, but it was a little more than that, I think. I have a thing for the unappreciated or underappreciated of certain franchises. And when I was growing up, people seemed to (and still do, in some way) want to distance the larger Bat franchise from anyone and anything that didn’t fit the narrow “grim and gritty” view of the World’s Greatest Detective. As such, Robin (especially the Dick Grayson version) always seems to get opted out or shafted, particularly when going for media outside of comic books.

I’m sure I’ve got a long rant on Robin in me, but as of right now I don’t have the patience or desire to write one right now. One of these days I will, but for now, I fine with knowing that I love the character and almost everyone who’ve worn his red and green tights.

 

 

 

Halloween Countdown #24: Chick Track

So, Jack Chick is dead.

I never knew or met Jack Chick, nor was I a big fan of his work, ironically or otherwise. I had no opinion of the man for the longest time until a few days ago.

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F#%^ off, lady.

I recently read the “Happy Halloween!” Chick Tract while looking for material for the Halloween Countdown, thinking I might get a few chuckles from it. The plot involved a small child being damned to hell for not going to Sunday school and  falling in with the “wrong crowd”. This pissed me off to no end, especially since I’m a Catholic who has never had any time for the kind of repressive, paranoid and downright cruel type of faith that’s often espoused by Chick and his ilk.

And now, Chick’s dead. I cannot say I will weep for the man, but I will not wish him to end up in hell or any of his family and friends any ill will. He was a symptom of a larger rot that can get inside you when it comes to faith; a combination of  paranoia and superiority complex that can infect the soul. To all my readers, faithful or non-faithful, please remember: do not forget that this darkness is out there, lurking in your own heart. Recognize it, and fight against.

Halloween Countdown #23: A Matter of Fact

Toddlers are not scary.

 

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Fear me!

 

I don’t care if you raise ’em from the dead and give ’em super-strength, there is no way you’re making a toddler a figure to inspire fear. Especially if you put ridiculous looking top hats on them.

 

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“Ain’t I just the cutest little murderer?”

 

In all fairness, Pet Sematary  is a halfway decent movie. The acting’s hammy (especially from Dale Midkiff) but Fred Gwynne really sells every line he’s given and Denise Crosby does pretty good too. It’s just when they resurrect Gage and try to make him scary, the movie becomes a pretty funny unintentional comedy.

 

 

Halloween Countdown #22: My First Horror Movie

Army of Darkness was probably the first “scary” movie I ever sat through.

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Groovy

That’s not to say I never saw bit and pieces throughout my childhood. I remember seeing pieces of Tales from the Hood on cable and I grew up with the original Ghostbusters on VHS. And I’m pretty sure I sat through The Faculty at one point, but I remember being less scared and more aroused by that movie (if you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m talking about). But Army of Darkness is what I consider my first.

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Terror beyond compare!

Now I know what you’re thinking; “Jordan, Army of Darkness isn’t all that scary!” Well, you’re right. I still count it though. The reasons are twofold:

  1. It led me to watching Evil Dead II, which is one of my favorite scary movies ever.
  2. It was probably was the first sorta mainstream movie I ever saw that included “scary” imagery (i.e. zombies, hags, walking skeletons, possessed people, ect)
  3. It’s way better than The Faculty.

So, nah nah nanah nah.

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Fright beyond imagination!

I was probably around fourteen when I first saw it. I was home from North Junior High (it went through freshman year back in the day, making it the teenage me’s halfway point between St. Anthony’s and MFHS). I was avoiding my homework when, checking for something to watch, I saw Army of Darkness playing on HBO or something. I’d heard about the film, but never had actually seen the thing, so I decided see what it was like, and I was transfixed throughout the movie’s entire run time. The movie’s comedy, action, and horror elements all blended together to make one of the most entertaining movies I’d ever seen. I still have a deep affection for it, even though I haven’t watched it in full for at least five years.

(Though I plan on fixing that.)

So yeah, Army of Darkness is my first scary movie. Come at me.

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Oh, the horr…wait, this is actually a little creepy.