Halloween Countdown #18: Shame of the Past

Hey, you remember that episode of Smallville where Lana throws in with a sorority that’s secretly a bunch of vampires?

 

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This character? Her name’s Buffy, and she’s the leader of the vampire sorority. Go to hell, episode.

 

No? You had better things to do in 2005 than watch Smallville? Good; you spent your time better than a fifteen year old me did.

 

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Pictured: That sick feeling you get when you realize that the presence of scantily-clad hot chicks is the only reason you liked something as a kid

 

Looking back at the episode with eyes that are eleven years older and wearier, I can safely call this episode, “Thirst” (Smallville had an extreme fetish for one word titles) complete and utter trash. The vampire sorority segments all feel like a drag to watch, the other to plot threads (Lex vs. Brainiac-in-James Marsters-clothing Dr. Fine and Chloe interacting with a Carrie Fisher cameo) barely rise to okay, and it all coalesces to give the feel of a cheap softcore horror picture without any of the inventive gore or promise of bare boobs that make such things at least watchable, even in a “you’re going to feel ashamed of yourself later” sense.

P.S. I specifically remember an episode of Big Wolf on Campus that did a similar plot, and did it much better. If I ever find it, I’ll tell you about it.

 

 

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