Halloween Countdown #18: Shame of the Past

Hey, you remember that episode of Smallville where Lana throws in with a sorority that’s secretly a bunch of vampires?



This character? Her name’s Buffy, and she’s the leader of the vampire sorority. Go to hell, episode.


No? You had better things to do in 2005 than watch Smallville? Good; you spent your time better than a fifteen year old me did.



Pictured: That sick feeling you get when you realize that the presence of scantily-clad hot chicks is the only reason you liked something as a kid


Looking back at the episode with eyes that are eleven years older and wearier, I can safely call this episode, “Thirst” (Smallville had an extreme fetish for one word titles) complete and utter trash. The vampire sorority segments all feel like a drag to watch, the other to plot threads (Lex vs. Brainiac-in-James Marsters-clothing Dr. Fine and Chloe interacting with a Carrie Fisher cameo) barely rise to okay, and it all coalesces to give the feel of a cheap softcore horror picture without any of the inventive gore or promise of bare boobs that make such things at least watchable, even in a “you’re going to feel ashamed of yourself later” sense.

P.S. I specifically remember an episode of Big Wolf on Campus that did a similar plot, and did it much better. If I ever find it, I’ll tell you about it.




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