Halloween Countdown #26: One Writer’s Fear

There are a lot of things that haunt then minds of anyone with artistic hopes or pretensions. The fears that lie in the backs of their minds and speak to them like taunting specters while they are alone at a keyboard or easel or whatever object or medium they see fit to get their ideas across. You’ve most likely heard them yourself, speaking in your own voice and chanting their irritating, emotionally biting hymns; “This is some bulls#!@”, “Nobody’s gonna like this”, That’s stupid and you’re stupid for making it”.

 

These are the harsh tones of self doubt, the arias of fear and possibly even loathing. Their lyrics are modified from person to person, but their bitter intent is the same: to scare you. To offer some helpful self criticism for your truly bad ideas or to make you truly paranoid about the ones that might even be good; this is their purpose.

 

You’re indulging in overwriting, you hack.”

 

There are other thing, worse things that come from the realities of life to be afraid of, but I feel safe in assuming that a good portion of you, dear readers, have felt that doubt creeping up on you, dragging you to those dark, suffocating depths that make you wonder why you even try and leave many a project, good, bad and ugly, down in that black abyss where none save you remember their existence.

 

Get to the point already, you jerk.”

 

I fear unoriginality. Not in others works, of course; I fear being unoriginal in my own work, on this blog, sometimes paralyzed by wondering when the day will come when I will piss someone I actually respect off by my blatant “borrowing”. I feel this lump deep inside my throat as I write this, wondering how I could make this post better; make it sing and wax lyrical about these fears of mine, give it a style unique to me, myself and I. I ponder how I can go into detail without talking about people who are probably getting annoyed with me namedropping them; my naked fanboyism can only take me so far. And worst of all, I wonder if this is where I belong, some unoriginal hack on the internet, ranting and raving and throwing messages in bottles while most everyone else looks up Buzzfeed or porn. This fear, I think, will not pass easily.

 

This wrote all of this because you couldn’t figure out something for this week’s Fix It ‘Til It’s Broke!, didn’t you?”

 

Well, yeah, but the readers don’t have to know that, you @$$hole.

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